im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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