JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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