We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
