Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I met the friendliest cop last night
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
