i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
