I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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