I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
