You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I met the friendliest cop last night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
