I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
