i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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