she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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