Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
