new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
