Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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