My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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