Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
