I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
