She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
