I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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