I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize