I think I died a long time ago.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
