Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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