Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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