After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
