I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
