I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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