he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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