So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
