I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
