thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
