I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
