when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
