I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
