doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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