My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
