I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
