They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
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I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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