hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Randomize
