stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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