You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize