Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
