So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize