Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
