He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
