this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
