she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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