We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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