I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
