We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
