just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
