Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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