Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
