Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
