they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize