it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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