His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize