Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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