i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
