**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
