i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
