Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
MIDGETS
????
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
