You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
