he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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